As we have aged, a lesson learned is that your life becomes a series of vignettes, a long string of “things” that happen. Some are serious, but most become humorous if we let them. Age also mellows us, and our immediate reaction to situations that might have stressed us earlier fills the air with one more story. A recent “post-COVID” event fell into this category, and we still laugh about it.
"I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, Phyllis, no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on."
A Chance to Get Out
Tired of eating at home, we were looking for a restaurant for a light meal, so we went into town to a small pub for pizza. This restaurant had closed for COVID, and we checked to ensure they had reopened. Knowing that many restaurants were still short of staff, we went early to avoid any crowd. We learned to experience delays and inexperienced staff during COVID. We were ahead of the crowds when we arrived and felt we were in for a quiet meal. As events unfolded, the interaction with the staff and kitchen crew grew to be anything but uneventful.
First Things First
The first thing that happened when we entered was to be politely and cheerfully greeted by a waitress with about a thousand tattoos and some undetermined number of piercings. Nothing is more appetizing than a waitress with a nose ring and an odd assortment of tattoos serving you a delicious pizza. The waitress seated us, left menus, and took our drink orders. Unfortunately, the drink order got lost, and after about ten minutes, we stopped her and reminded her, and the drinks arrived shortly after that.
A few minutes later, we placed our order and settled into some conversation while we waited for a small meat-lovers pizza to arrive. It was not a complex order: two glasses of iced tea and a small pizza. We expected to eat and be on the road before a larger, rowdier crowd arrived. Over the next half hour, we noticed people arriving, ordering, and being served while we were still without food.
A Kitchen Confrontation
Once again, we located the waitress and checked on the order. She apologized profusely and went straight to the kitchen. Unfortunately for her, the restaurant was small, and we could hear the conversation between her and the chef/manager. She had become busy and forgot to place the order. Returning to our table, she explained that the pizza was almost ready and that she would watch for it and get it right out. There was no confession about the forgotten order, but maybe that was too much to explain. I also have some aversion to arguing with people covered in tattoos and piercings.
Finally Some Pizza
We knew the pizza coming right out was probably incorrect since we overheard the kitchen conversation, but this was becoming too much fun to leave. We were wrong about the delay. Within a few minutes, our pizza arrived, and the waitress explained that they decided to give us a large rather than a small to compensate for our wait. We thanked her, and she walked away.
After waiting an hour, the pizza smelled great, and we were ready to dig in for some good carbs and protein. Just as my wife reached for a slice, the manager interrupted us and explained that we had the wrong pizza; he slid it out from under my wife’s outstretched hand and said ours would be out shortly. We watched as the pizza was whisked away and placed on another table; again, we had no food.
We saw our poor waitress panic and run to the kitchen to check. Sure enough, there was our small pizza. Again, she apologized profusely and said the manager had “comped” the small pizza to us for all the trouble. They hoped we would understand and visit again. Her politeness belied her many tattoos and piercings; we were hungry.
The pizza was good, and the story had become so comical that it dominated our conversation. How could the manager give our “free Pizza” to another set of diners? There was no way we would leave until we understood how this would all end. Free pizza or not, this was becoming a great show. Once again, our waitress came by and said, “We are sorry for all that has happened.” Your bill is paid, and we hope you will return.”
One More Thing Before You Go
Gathering our coats, we looked up, and the manager was headed our way. We assumed he would thank us for being patient and encourage us to return. We were wrong. He gave us our bill and said he had taken 10% off for our trouble. Then he left. The savings amounted to about $3.00.
We are at an age where we know that some strange things will happen to us along the way. We can let them irritate us or we can realize that they become great stories and memories. We remember when and where we were, the tattooed and pierced waitress, the look of panic on the waitress’ face, the manager yanking the pizza off the table, the free and then not-free pizza, and we have a great story to laugh about for a long time.
Many serious and not-so-serious things happen in our lives, and it is essential to know the difference. The Gen-Z crowd is fun to observe. We left the waitress a nice tip, figuring she had enough stress and might see her life would be better with fewer tattoos and piercings. But we guess she is really saving her tips for one more glorious tattoo or piercing. At age 70, when all the piercings are scars, and the tattoos are just a blob, our sweet waitress will regret how she spent her tips.
